Tributes to Robert Urich

By: Jon Liebling (letter originally sent to Heather) - It's unfair. Bob has always represented all of the good that can occur in a human; Integrity. Humor. Honesty. Style. Passion. Intelligence. Sensitivity. Humanity. Dignity. Compassion. Courage. What's the deal? Why on Earth are the good guys taken from us long, long before their time?

I am so happy to have been fortunate enough to call Bob my friend. I have always valued my relationship with you both, and have always found joy and comfort in the fact that we could go for months - sometimes years - without talking, and then fall right back into that comfortable friendship that we all enjoyed...Effortlessly.

The love and commitment between you and Bob has always been an inspiration for me. Bob was a lucky man in many ways, and luckiest in the fact that he found you along his journey. A journey that was far too short, yet as rich and full as any man could hope to travel in this world.
Thank you so much for finding me during my trip to California, and for your graciousness during our visit. I came close to missing that opportunity to see you both, and to seeing Bob for the last time.

By: John Wall - I woke up on Tuesday morning to this e-mail from a friend:
"Robert Urich was an actor whose success and longevity transcended the bounds of mere performer. He was lodged in our collective psyche as a friend and confidant, as the Everyman we all recognize within ourselves and within our culture. Few actors ever achieve such status. It takes talent, perseverance, and an unshakable sense of truth. As you know I thought he was a terrific actor. He turned in performances that are etched in my mind. He will be missed by all of us."
Fifteen years ago, in the town where I had spent most of my life, my wife met Robert. Every one else called him Bob, but for she and I it was always Robert. He had moved there and was restoring an estate and looking for an assistant. He was the talk of the town. Every day the locals would brag of sightings and conversations that they'd had with him. Robert took a liking to my wife and he offered her a job. I would wait anxiously for her to arrive home and share the day's activities. I would ask if Burt or Tom had called. No. What about some famous agent or reporter? No. She'd smile, and tell me the plumber had called and he'd be by to fix the upstairs toilet tomorrow. Months passed and every morning my wife would make her way to the Urich house. It was winter, Robert was doing Lonesome Dove. She saw very little of him and I still had yet to meet him. Finally one day I picked up my wife and there he was, Robert Urich. He was planting bulbs. He looked up, smiled and went back to the bulbs. Liz came out and went over the day's activities as he continued to plant. Finally she introduced me as her husband. He stood, shook my hand, made a nice comment about my wife, and went back to planting bulbs. That was it. He was home due to a writer's strike and was putting the finishing touches on the house-something only he could do. Liz would come home with tales of Robert sweeping, dusting, mowing, and rearranging furniture. Then there were the lamps and plants. I bet I've seen Robert move them 1,000 times in my life. It was always about comfortable light for him. He could make a room change with a little shift here or there, and when it was done he would sit quietly and enjoy what he had achieved. I tried not to bother him when found that perfect unity-let someone else break the moment. One of my fondest memories of Robert is at his home in Canada in the morning sweeping, cleaning, moving plants to get that perfect light to enjoy his coffee by the lake. He was always so happy when he found it.
So he's mowing, and again I am picking up my wife. He walks over to say goodbye to her, and sees some golf clubs in my truck. He takes off his sunglasses, picks up a club and asks where I play.
I tell him that my family has a membership in the next town at a rather average but very private club. He knows the course instantly and says, " That's a Donald Ross design". "Yes I know". I ask if he would like to play. We set some time for the next day. It is a hot summer day and the course is empty. I throw our bags on a cart, Robert asks if we can walk. Walk? Hmm.... Maybe this won't be so bad after all.
Robert didn't have much of a game then, neither did I, but it was my home course and I knew how to get around it. Any one who knows golf knows Donald Ross: narrow fairways, tiny sloping greens, and ugly bunkers. We finished in about 3 1/2 hours. We spoke very little and he didn't break 100. I finished under 100 and figured that Robert would get in his car, go home and we'd never play again. As we walked of the 18th green toward the pro shop, he turned and said how much he had enjoyed the round and could we play another 9? Another 9? He had acted like he'd been in the dentist chair for the past 3 1/2 hours, but this was Robert Urich so I said yes.
So, Robert and I walk into the pro shop and he sees a set of new Hogan irons and woods, turns to me and says, "You can't get these anywhere you know?" He doesn't understand where he is. This is a club full of WASPS, New England WASPS, maybe the cheapest people on earth. The clubs will be half off after Labor Day and they will sell that morning. He picks them up, takes a swing and looks at the asst. pro Leo, and says, "I'll take them." He pulls out his wallet, hands Leo his AMEX. Leo looks like he's about to have a heart attack-this will be the biggest sale in the club's history, costing more than most members ever spent. "Sir," Leo say's "we don't accept American Express." Bob pulls out his Visa. "Sorry Sir, we don't accept Visa". Now I watch Leo as Bob starts counting out cash. Turns to me and asks if I have any cash. Before I answer, Leo says, "Sir, we don't except cash." Robert turns to Leo and says, "Well, Leo, how can I buy these? Having seen all I can take, I let Leo know it is OK to put them on my house charge and off we go. That 9 turned into 18 as we laughed about Leo and other county club stories. We shared out pasts, passions and feelings. It happened that simply-we had a connection and that connection would be with me forever.
Four weeks ago Robert called me and insisted that I come to Sherwood and play golf. He was so proud of his club and enjoyed taking his friends there. It was a cold, damp Friday morning. Robert was clearly not feeling well. I asked if maybe we should do it another time but he wanted to play. I now know he knew time was getting short for him. We played 8 holes; he was too tired to finish the ninth. Had lunch in the locker room, talked golf, talked about my kids, about the future. I think that was his way of saying goodbye to me.
We rarely traveled with out finding time to play. It was my mission to get us on the classic courses: Pine Valley, Marion, Seminole, but never Augusta National, home of the Masters. Several times we were scheduled to play but could not make the time. Last weekend, while Tiger Woods was getting his 3rd green jacket, we started losing Robert. As I said my goodbye to him, letting him know I'll be there for his family, that I loved and will miss him, he stirred, tried to open his eyes and held my hand gently. I let him know that Tiger had won, he raised his eyebrows and turned his head. That was good bye for us.
I'll play Augusta some day, he will be in my heart and I'll miss him dearly. Cancer is not a good word. When we found out Robert had it we were shocked. Not Robert. He was so strong, so caring and so loving. I have already begun to forget about the treatment, the chemo, the surgery, and the constant knowledge of him not feeling well. What I will never forget is the support, courage, and love he spread to the millions of people who were touched by it. He had a way of making people lose their fear. He truly believed that the cure was coming. I would always say, Robert got up every day and said today is the day they are going to find a cure. We all know about the TV Shows, MOWs, and commercials. I hope someday we remember Robert as a man who created a fund that helped find a cure for the illness that took him.
For those of us who spent time with Robert, there are so many memories. Looking for his glasses, washing his car, floating on his back at the lake he loved so much in Canada, cleaning up around the house and enjoying a meal with friends that everyone help prepare. For his family there are so many more.
Robert and I spent over 400 nights alone traveling. That's 1,200 meals. We talked a lot about our families. He would tell me how much he loved his mom and dad. He'd talk about his Mom-Baba, how he got so much of his strength from her. His older brother Tom-who introduced him to his career, his sister Monica or Sis as they all call her. She is a wonderful mother who has 7 children. And David, his youngest brother. He liked David's humor and loved his boys. He'd say he should to call them more. I know he loved them more than he ever told them. They will miss him too.
Allison came to the family 4 years ago. He'd call her his little Marilyn Monroe. She hits the ground running every day. I can still see him holding her little hand as they walk through the garden telling her not to pick all the flowers. She will grow up with an image of Robert we all should remember. Emily, his first daughter; so strong, competitive and hard working. He always knew she'd find her way to success and happiness. He loved her very much. Ryan, his son, always challenged Robert. Forced him to look at things differently. Robert was always worried about him. As Robert passed on Tuesday it was Ryan who, held his hand, comforted his Mom and fought for him. He became the man of the house that night. Robert would have been so proud.
Heather....the love of his life, his soul mate. I know you know how much he cared for you, knew you, and loved you. On Monday night we were in his closet-it smelled like him. You said he promised not to go. He hasn't forgotten his promise. He's here now, in your car, in the house, and most importantly in your heart. He will always be there.
On Sunday afternoon, we knew we were losing Robert. I called several friends who are writers. I am not too good with words. They all wrote wonderful things about my friend. But he would have wanted me to write this. So I did. I heard his words, felt him with me and he guided me. I will never forget all he meant to me. He challenged me, made me laugh and loved my family. It's going to take some time to get over this.
Robert, I hope you have found a place in heaven, and there is the house with plenty of plants and lamps for you to move-where you can sit in a big chair by a fire and watch the seasons change. I hope Donald Ross has designed 18 perfect holes to challenge you, I hope there'll be a lake where you can watch the sun go down and float on your back as you love to do at the cabin in Canada. I hope there's a backyard where you can plant your tomatoes and cucumbers, and a garden full of blooming flowers. I hope you are there already, Robert. We all love and will miss you dearly.

By: Guy & Florence Carbonneau -
Our friendship with Robert and Heather go back to over 25 years. It is a friendship that does not require a weekly lunch or a phone call every day. It is a friendship that maybe, you touch base once in a while - maybe you meet once, twice a year. Maybe you go fishing or diving, or just spend a little time together. It is an enduring friendship.

Burt Reynolds has said that Robert was the most loyal friend he ever had. Many people who knew Robert would say the same thing. It speaks volumes about the character and integrity of this man. It speaks about a beautiful mind.

It is somewhat fitting to refer to the dates of Robert's life from the beginning, December 1946 to the end, April 2002. First comes the date of his birth, followed by the date that God chose to take him from us. But, what I believe matters the most, is the tiny little dash between those years.

You see that tiny little dash represents all the time that Robert spent alive on this earth...and now only those who loved him, and knew him, know what that little line, the little dash, is worth.

It didn't matter to Robert, how much we own: the cars...the house...the cash. What mattered to him is how we live, love, and how we spend our little dash.

Robert would like us to think about this long and hard...are there things we'd like to change? For you never know how much time is left. We could be mid-way in our little dash.

Robert would tell us to just slow down enough to consider what's true and real and always try to understand the way other people feel.

He would tell us to be less quick to anger and show appreciation more, and love the people in our lives like we've never loved before. If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile, remember, that this special little dash, the dash between Robert's dates, might only last a little while.

So, as we end this little testimony about Robert and his life, we are proud of the things they say about how he spent his life, the little dash between his dates.

Now its time to say good-bye, but for sure, not a lasting good-bye. You see our faith tells us that Robert is far better off now than all of us. And yes, now and then when Florence and I look at you Heather, Ryan, Emily, and special little Allison, a tear may come to our eye, but with that tear a smile will also come. A smile that is representative of having known a great friend, your friend. We will miss him dearly.

God bless you Heather, Ryan, Emily, and Allison. And God bless Robert Urich, our friend.

By: Mary Ann Schmidt - APRIL 19, 2002
My husband, Bill, and I left the house at 8:30 A.M. and drove to St. Charles Church on Moorpark Street in North Hollywood. We arrived at the church at 9:25 and were directed to park at the church school parking lot which was at that time empty. On the walk to the church we saw an "Eyewitness" news van parked outside in front of the church. I felt a pang of intrusion, but who was I to feel that way. Family and friends of Robert would think we were the same and I sincerely thank the family for having an open service - I needed to be there.

I signed the guest book for both of us and noted "Thousand Oaks" so they would know we were caring neighbors. When we entered the church at 9:40 it was half full and people continued to file in up to the start time of 10:00. It was respectfully and comfortably filled with people who admired a man - a cherished human being most of us wished we could live up to.

The church was beautiful with intricate molding adorning the high ceilings and a dark wood crucifix surrounded by dark wood carvings. The priest who spoke had also baptized Allison, Robert and Heather's four year-old daughter. He spoke of that day four years earlier as a day of happiness and when they had gone to the gathering at the Urich's home, he had seen a private moment between Robert and baby Allison. He was playing with her - just the two of them. He was beaming with a father's special joy.

The priest went on to console us with mention of how we shouldn't feel cheated because Robert was taken from us too soon. If we live 20, 50 or 80 years, it still is an instant when compared to eternity with the Lord. I tried to take comfort from those words, but it was too difficult.

A number of speakers shared stories . The first was John who had met Robert through his wife who was helping with renovations at the Urich house a number of years ago. Bob has been planting bulbs in his garden (he was an avid gardener). He looked up and said hello and went back to planting. The next time John saw him, Bob noticed golf clubs in his car and they set a date for them to play. They played eighteen grueling holes and Robert wanted to play 8 more. They had a fun day but John didn't think he'd ever hear from Robert again. But he was wrong, it was the start of a beautiful friendship. Four weeks ago, Robert called John and told him to come out to Lake Sherwood and play golf in his backyard. After a few rounds, Bob was tired and they sat down and talked of family and friends - "Robert was saying good-bye." John softly said.

Dr. Dyrk was next and his friendship with Robert had lasted 20 years. He also spoke of Robert's love for gardening. He was always leaving coffee cups out there. Dr. Dyrk even said to Heather, "go out to the garden, you'll probably find one." We smiled.

Robert loved to dust and rearrange lamps and furniture and sit down and survey what he had accomplished. Robert was a man's man - don't doubt it for a second. He hunted and hiked and fished and skied. But Robert himself had admitted he was a male "Martha Stewart". Along with gardening he loved to be in the kitchen creating. He arranged bowls of fruit and sometimes flowers from his garden. In the last couple of years he jokingly warned his toddler not to pick "all of the flowers."

His brother Tom, 12 years his senior had a great story which especially touched my heart. When they were young they would play mumblypeg. You had to flip a pocket knife off your arm or chin or whatever and it had to land blade first into the dirt. Whoever won planted a matchstick. Whoever lost had to dig it out with their teeth. Since Robert was so much younger he was usually the "dirt eater". Later when Robert was Dan Tanna in Vega$, Tom was a guest villain. Dan was supposed to chase the bad guy and tackle him. When it was shot, Dan chased Tom and caught him, turned him around punching him in the stomach - knocking the wind out of him. He whispered into Tom's ear, "this is for making me eat dirt". We laughed knowing how competitive brothers can be. Then a tearful Tom said, "if we could have you back, I'd eat dirt every day for the rest of my life."

Robert's son, Ryan, told us how much his father had spoiled him and how he had resented it a little when friends teased him. But he knew it was only because his father loved him so much. There was a bond there that was undeniable. Ryan showed us the ukulele that his father bought him not too long ago. Ryan had searched the internet for instructions on how to play it and played a little for us.

A friend from Robert's hometown of Toronto, Ohio, went to school with Tom and Monica and stated that Robert would come for reunions and gave generously to his former school. They had named a street after him there.

A writer/producer from the "Love Boat - next wave" was the next speaker and he told us that Bob would do anything for laugh. He'd been the star of so many hour dramas that people may not know just how funny this great man could be. They did horrible things to his hair, hit him in the face with a volley ball so that he would have to wear temporary braces and talk "funny". I remember that episode and it was very funny. After the Love Boat ended, he asked Bob to be in his play and Bob said, "sure, I'll do it". Then he told him his character was supposed to fall in love with him at the end. Robert was to say, "I never realized just how blue your eyes are." Bob asked , "you mean I'm supposed to be gay?" And the writer said, "Not necessarily, you're just exploring your feelings."   And of course Bob did it, with panache I'm sure.

An actress, I'm sorry I didn't get her name, said she had made a movie with Robert 15 years ago and didn't get to kiss him, I sympathized. And later she was in that same aforementioned play, she still didn't get to kiss him because he was "exploring his feelings". We laughed.   She then thanked Heather for letting her kiss him in the hospital when she said goodbye.

Since we were seated toward the rear of the church we were able to see the mourners leave. The casket was first, covered in lilacs - his favorite flowers. Heather was in rightful place alongside her soul mate. His family followed and a very sad Emeril was with them. My heart went out to them all.

We left by the side door to avoid the crowd and TV cameras. The drive home was spent in quiet reflection. The sky was unnaturally blue with huge fluffy white clouds. I was glad it wasn't a dreary day. It was one of the worst days of my life, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

I'd like to say something from my heart. Most of my friends and family think I don't have a right to grieve. I'm told Robert was just a TV actor, you didn't really know him. I deeply resent this. This special man shared himself with everyone and anyone who had a question or problem. The internet was a Godsend to us. It brought us Robert. On a serious note, he helped countless people with questions about cancer. On a more personal note he told us his favorite color was blue and he enjoyed soups and stews and his mother's nut bread. That he liked to garden and play golf with a passion. One Halloween he took Allison out as Tweety and was considering being Sylvester. I don't think he did it, but that would have been something to see. He gave us advice in general and sometimes to us individually. He told me once when I asked how I could cope better with my problems and he said, "the past is done. You can't change it - so don't dwell on it. The future is uncertain, so don't count on it. All we really have is the present. Live each day one day at a time and make the most of it."   I had heard this before, but this time it was from Bob. He had such profound influence on us. Because his heart was always in the right place. He indulged us in silly trivial chats. Before he had the "Ask Robert" page, we had open chats and sometimes Heather would join us and once or twice Bob did too. We compared this man to candy - because to us he was definitely a TREAT. Then came the Great Eye color debate. Are they brown or hazel? Heather wrote on Jan 8, 1998, that a family discussion had been prompted by my belief that his eyes were hazel. The reason I brought this up was to illustrate how generous the Urich's are to include us in a very wide extended family. On an episode of the Love Boat he was told that table linens were missing and he told the purser to take care of it, just make sure the color of the tablecloths matched his eyes. I'm sure he added that for us RUFFians. RUFF stands for Robert Urich Friends Forever. I can't speak for everyone, but I know I will never forget him and will be his friend forever.

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